Dog

Often I am staggered when I contemplate
The mayhem wrought by

One large and wily dog;
His wiring at the hands of Dog Creator
An awful joke upon the several owners
Previous to me;
But I am the one who wears the sucker sign
On a chain around my neck:

Sure, big fella, come along,
You’ll be fine and cared-for here.

What folly I repeat and then repeat
In my conviction that no dog is bad,
That I am friend to each transgressing smelly

Canine; I guess my father’s love of dogs

Survives in me, so I stubbornly persist

With the wrecks that come my way.

This one, luckily, has lived to bark his tale,
His damages an embarrassment I relive often
After calling my insurance:

“A wild animal has attacked the house;
The barns!
The siding’s gone! Oh God!”

Dead creatures rarely catch
My attention in the country,

They are all about, and I am hardened to their fates,

And so did not see the piles of fur and wing
That accumulated on my

Porch, only to generate more embarrassment
When the neighbor said:

“Well shit, it’s your damned dog that’s killin’ them,”

And about this time, I decided that
Such antics aren’t acceptable

Behavior in my realm,
And as the Sovereign, thought my

Wishes would suffice.

But heaps of carcass, shredded boards and

Holes big enough to bury hedgehogs gave

Way to a fine chaos my decades had not endured.

How can one dog eat a privy?

The destruction of the garden around
The defunct structure

Collateral damage simply taking breath away;
And what massive jaw,
Paws the size of paddles dug up standpipes,
Old metal tools used by farmers dead and gone?

What mindless springtime joy dismantled garden

Walls and redistributed boulders
Near-big as dog himself?

What frenzy smeared tall back with grease
As my vehicle's undercarriage

Was liberated of its hoses and gas lines?

Tell me, dog, are you tired of living?

Is this how

You thank me for your life?

Some thanks, I say, some thanks.

“Put that one down,” the neighbor says,
“He’s sure as hell no good.”

It all came down the night dog ate
The propane line
And caused a spill, the husband stuffing thumb
Into the spewing break

And shrieking loud for all to hear:

“Call for help, damnit, call the fire department,
Help me out here, help me out,

“The house is gonna blow,
Get out, get out, get out!”

“Go get the bird, and run away!
Jesus, do something

“Quick, right now!”

No one believes.

And yet I do not lie.
This graceful, buoyant, joyful, loving dog

Defies all I ever knew about man’s best friend,
Except he is, best friend or wants to be, that is.

And never would I give up on him,
Though I may go gray and lose my

Mind before we’re done, and
He is too old to rampage anymore.

It does not matter how I’ve coped,
Nor what I’ve done to stem

His mirthful havoc;
I’ve found some feeble measures and

I drink a lot these days.